Sympathy Etiquette

Q: What is the best style for a funeral arrangement? How do I order a "special" design?

A: Highly personalized sympathy tributes depicting an aspect of a person's life are very popular. If he loved the outdoors, perhaps a funeral piece including branches and natural materials would be best. If she was a gardener, maybe a tribute with a collection of garden flowers would be best. The key to ordering a unique design is to give the florist a few hints about the deceased or about yourself.

Q: If the death notice mentions a charitable donation is it still appropriate to send flowers?

A: Flowers help say what is often difficult to express. This is why it is always appropriate and in good taste to send an arrangement. It adds warmth to the service and provides the emotional support so important to the family at this time.

Q: Is it appropriate to send flowers to the family's home?

A: Sending flowers to the home is a thoughtful way to express your condolences. While some people choose to send flowers to the home immediately, others prefer to wait a week or longer. In the weeks after the service, sending flowers can be a comforting gesture that you haven't forgotten.

Q: If several of us want to send flowers together, how do we sign our names so that the family knows how to thank us?

A: There should room on the enclosure card for several names; however, if there are more than a few, it is best to sign the card as a group, such as "The Guys in Shipping" or "The Jones Family". It is also wise to include a contact name and address on the card so the family can properly thank you.

Q: Is it appropriate to send a plant to the funeral home? If so, will they send it over to the family after the service?

A: Yes, it is appropriate to send a green or flowering plant. Some funeral homes will deliver plants or flowers to the home if specified. In some cases, the florist may make arrangements to pick up the plant after the services and deliver it to the family. Otherwise, the funeral director will simply notify the family that they may take the plants with them after the service. Check with your florist to see what is customary for your area.

Q: What is appropriate to send for a cremation?

A: A tastefully designed floral tribute adds beauty to any type of memorial. Families usually have a piece made especially for display next to the urn. Florists in many areas may have specific suggestions for arrangements.

 The weeks following a loss - helping a Friend in Grief

The funeral service is over. Friends and family have paid their respects and gone home. There are no more hectic plans to distract the grieving family, and the shock has worn off. They are now left feeling lost and alone.

Experts say that although the initial outpouring of sympathy is a great comfort to a family that has lost a loved one, many people experiencing such a loss appreciate being thought of in the weeks and months after the funeral. Consider sending flowers or a plant with a personal note to the home of the bereaved. Your message of, "I'm here if you need me," will show the bereaved that no matter how much time passes, he or she can count on your support.

FloristDEX would like to thank Inbloom for the information.